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i. life couldn’t get better~

12 boys, uncertain and afraid and not knowing where they’re going from here. 12 boys with makeup thick on their faces and hearts pounding out of their chests and fear so thick in their veins that they don’t know if they’re going to make it. and with a 3, 2, 1, they step out onto their first stage.

ii. ‘cause i can’t stop thinking ‘bout you, girl~

they have suddenly become 13 and things are even more unstable, even scarier—but their name is set in stone now, dropping the ‘05 and becoming super junior—they have a name, they are here and they matter. and maybe they’ll make it.

(stop for a moment. here is where things don’t go the way they should—instead of losing sleep because of dance practices, they lose sleep because of anxiety. here is where things suddenly go so wrong and someone is slipping away and—

wait. just breathe. just breathe. he’s still here. he didn’t leave them.)

iii. even if my flame burns everything up, i want to protect.

they come back, stronger than ever—so determined and ready to take on the world, because they’re positive they can. everything suddenly brightens up and yes, they can taste it—this dream of theirs on the tip of their tongue and they’re almost there. just a little more and they’ll be there.

iv. it’s gonna be me!

13 becomes 15. and it’s so amazing, because they’re such a big family, so full of love, so full of variety—they are never bored. they are 15 and they are happy except—oh. the world isn’t. the world isn’t happy and the world doesn’t wish them well. but they set their jaws straight and they hold hands, not letting go. they are family, and they don’t leave anyone behind.

v. sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, i fell for you~

boom. that’s probably the only way to describe it. they explode—they’re everywhere, their name has spread all over the globe and suddenly they’re not just reaching towards their dream anymore, they’re in it, this is it—this is everything they have ever wanted. and through the sleepless nights and exhausting schedules, everything seems like it’s finally fallen into place.

vi. oh my super girl, i am your superman~

but nothing is perfect, and they know that. words hurt and sting, even in the form of anonymous messages on the internet, aimed towards them or towards their friends. but there’s nothing they can do, right? nothing but to close their eyes and keep going. running blind.

(stop again. things a little skewed—it was okay when the first of them says he’s sorry and steps away, but this is not okay. when was this okay? they like their number but suddenly they’re decreasing—there are wounds here and there and it hurts to walk, it hurts to even breathe—)

vii. bounce to you, bounce to you, my heart is beating so fast for you.

they’re riding on their success and popularity. they are surrounded by more love than they are surrounded by hate and that is really all they can ask for—and 10 isn’t really a small number, right? they are still everything they have ever wanted to be. things are good. things are great.

(maybe this is where you step in. this is where i stepped in. this is when i discovered 15 amazing boys and gave them my heart and never once regretted it. they started so long ago, but this is where i start.)

viii. look, mr. simple, simple, you’re cool just like that!

here is where they finally learn. there is more than just numbers—numbers are actually nothing. album sales mean nothing. the number of awards mean nothing, too. all that matters is the heart, and all they have to do is hold hands like they did before and run blind. because they know that there are everlasting friends that will catch them.

six years and several heartbreaks later, they are still here. six years down—forever to go.

they don’t doubt themselves. and no one doubts them.

happy six years, super junior. ♥

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